Monday, December 04, 2006

Just a quick little update. Since our wonderful President Bush and so many gay marriage opponents have said that the bible forbides gay marriage, I thought I'd let them all know exactly what the bible's views on marriage were. So from this point forward, these are the rules concerning marriage in America.

1. Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Genesis 29:17-28, 2 Samuel 3:2-5)

2. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (2 Samuel 5:13, 1 Kings 11:3, 2 Chronicles 11:21)

3. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed by stoning. (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)

4. Marriage between a believer and a nonbeliever shall be forbidden. (genesis 24:3, Ezra 9:12, Nehemiah 10:30)

5. Divorce shall not be permitted. (Deuteronomy 22:19, Mark 10:9)

6. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. (Genesis 38:6-10, Deuteronomy 25:5-10)

7. Adultery is punishable by death. (Leviticus 20:10)

I am sure the president's prayer team knows this, of course, and is busy praying for a constitutional amendment that incorporates these biblical teachings.

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